


Feelings on Fire (Guess I’m a Bad Liar)

by maisy_daisy



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: All For The Game - Freeform, Angst, Oneshot, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22503583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maisy_daisy/pseuds/maisy_daisy
Summary: For someone who detests lies, Andrew Minyard has been in denial for far too long.
Relationships: Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten
Comments: 5
Kudos: 107





	Feelings on Fire (Guess I’m a Bad Liar)

**Author's Note:**

> First written and published on my tumblr; thought I’d throw it in here :) Just an itty bitty one shot, hope you enjoy!

Andrew has no reason to stay alive.   
  
That’s what he tells himself constantly, a dark mantra stating what he believes should be obvious. 

Life, after all, is a coincidence; a product of nature; a mere accident riddled by false security and thin promises. There’s no real order to the world, nor is there a purpose for existence. To believe otherwise is to live in denial. And life is too trivial to waste breath denying the inevitable truth. 

That’s what Andrew thinks as he steps onto the roof of his dorm building. Lit cigarette untouched, breath hitching as his feet step closer to the edge.   
  
The unsteady beat of his heart almost surprises him. 

Because he feels, he feels, he feels. He has no reason to not step off he edge, he muses. He’s fulfilled his promises, finished his job. There is no logical reason to stay alive. 

But. 

A month later, he tells himself the same thing as he pretends to ignore Nicky and Kevin’s conversation. They’re cruising down the highway, Andrew’s hands gripped on the wheel as he convinces them not to shake. 

Because he feels, he feels, he _feels_. Kevin’s easy laugh at a joke Nicky says threatens to choke Andrew around the throat. Aaron’s rolling his eyes but whispers something in Kevin’s ear that sends the latter into tears. Neil’s responding from the passenger seat and Andrew’s boys laugh again. 

_His boys._

There’s a whisper of something foreign at the hollow of Andrew’s chest. Some would call it affection. Andrew’s vocabulary doesn’t recognize the term. 

There’s no reason to humour their conversation, and when Neil turns to ask Andrew’s opinion of the subject, Andrew tells himself not to waste his breath. 

But.

Andrew’s hands unclench ever so slightly from the wheel. “I’ve never seen Deadpool.” His short contribution surprises everyone in the car, including Andrew. He tells himself it was a mistake to speak at all when Nicky shrieks and goes off on a whole thesis about what Andrew’s missing. Andrew almost wants to tell Nicky to shut up like he usually would. 

But.

The weeks pass. Andrew tells himself there’s no reason to be on the court for another second as the fans’ shouts threaten to deafen him. The Vixens are performing their victory routine as the other Foxes shake hands with the Bruins. Andrew’s already taken off his gloves, but he’s not moved from his spot at the goal. His eyes find blue, and Andrew’s thankful he had yet to remove his helmet. 

Because he _feels_ , he _feels_ , he _feels_. There’s no reason to be “thankful”, there’s absolutely no reason to still be standing on the stupid exy court where the Foxes already won and are embracing each other. There’s no reason Andrew shouldn’t be in the locker room, avoiding the press and his teammates, shutting out the noise because he doesn’t care about exy, he’s never cared before—

But _._

Neil’s already made his way to Andrew. His soft smile, so happy, so different, so much more pure than the Wesninski smile ever could be, greets Andrew, and suddenly its too much, _it’s too much.  
_

_“_ Yes or no?” Neil asks, and Andrew wants to run. 

It’s not right. It’s not logical. Andrew Minyard does not run from his problems.

But. But. But.

Neil isn’t a problem. As much as Andrew tells himself that everything around him is a bad idea, that he has _no reason_ to want anything, that he has _just enough_ control to not feel anything—

He feels, he feels, he feels, and it’s worse than the damn rooftop, it’s worse than the drugs; than the cracker dust; than the alcohol; than being numb, _because he has no idea how to handle this._

 _“_ Yes.” more surprises. He doesn’t remember speaking, but his mouth is working faster than his mind. Andrew _wants_ and he hates that he wants and he hates that he cares enough to hate in the first place—

Neil slips a careful hand into Andrew’s as if the whole world isn’t watching. 

_This is worse than the damn rooftop_ , he thinks again.   
  
But, even to himself—

Andrew’s always been a bad liar. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Visit me on tumblr at @ravens-play-exy-too


End file.
